Saturday, 16 November 2013

The Kitchen Fairy

If you so desire to munch
A smidge of breakfast or some lunch,
Then go ahead! Enjoy your treat
But after you've had it to eat
You'll be so kind to not ignore
The shiny thing that waits next door.

It opens onto magic land
Where things are washed by no man's hand
But that man's hand must put them in
Or bear the shame of KITCHEN SIN.
So get your spoons, your plates, your knives,
And stack them - one two three four five.

As many as goes row on row
Within the dishwasher we own.

"Oh no!" you sob, "it's all full up!"
Then wash your single dirty cup.
Or better yet, you lazy plum -
(A way to look a tad less glum)
It might be good to now unload
In prep for this thing's full-up mode.

"What's this?" you say, "it doesn't do
This by itself - CLEAN-UP MODE TWO?"

No. It doesn't.
Do it yourself.

Yours sincerely,

The Kitchen Fairy

Was so fed up of dirty plates when there's a dishwasher right next to them. Don't know if anyone else ever feels this? I wrote this in under twenty minutes and taped it to the side a few weeks ago.

Our sides have never been clearer. Hooray for sarcasm!

PS. Please note, the reference to men in the poem isn't saying it's only guys who don't do this. It just rhymed better.

PPS. 'Kitchen sin' isn't theologically sound. Again, I'm a slave to good rhyme. And I kind of wanted to make a point. (Eh, it worked!)

PPPS. I... kind of think this sounds a lot like some of Roald Dahl's doings. Channeling one of my favourite authors from childhood. Hooray!

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